What will a man gain by winning the whole world, at the cost of his true self?
Or what can he give that will buy that self back? (Matthew 16:26)
The answer is NOTHING for both questions.
I am not a Christian, so how I see Jesus is that he was simply a man who tried to live as himself, in accordance with his own values.
He suffered greatly for it, and he continued to doubt his course of action right up till the end.
Perhaps it was not a happy life, but there are things in life more important than seeking to build a life that is commonly judged as "happy" by others.
You can choose to live like a "saint" or become a martyr of the truth you believe in.